This is how it all started

Well, it turns out that it all started a week before my birthday, with a period that didn't seem to end completely, my mother told me that it was something normal and that my sister and aunt also went through it: I then said "it's something normal."

But my boyfriend insisted that it was better to check it and I decided to do it just to rule out "something bad."

It turns out that the first diagnosis was two fibroids, one intramural in the uterus and another in the left ovary. She ordered me to do some blood tests and when I sent the results, I never heard from this doctor again.

Taking advantage of the fact that I went to Mexico City, I made an appointment with another doctor and she told me that I shouldn't take it so lightly, I had some anemia, she gave me an iron transfusion and gave me a treatment to stop bleeding for 6 months and that's how I I was able to go on a trip with my boyfriend.

After 6 months: everything got out of control

The level of bleeding, the energy levels, certain strange infections each month (I got chills, temperature, body cramps, cloudy mind, emotional ups and downs, etc).

I went to acupuncture which at first helped, but really everything was like a band-aid and the problem was not eradicated from the root.

My mother and sister kept telling me that something similar happened to them when they started going through menopause and I, again thinking it was normal (although honestly, not so convinced)

Things got worse after an internal ultrasound study: the bleeding began to become more and more abundant and energy imbalances, mood swings, many ups and downs began... oh and that strange infection that a doctor concluded was of the throat -despite the pain that I mentioned in the abdomen on the left side-.

There came a day when everything became cloudy, confusing, I couldn't find the strength to move, think, even reason about how to ask for help.

I was in my apartment alone and my boyfriend lived a ferry away... I didn't know how to convey the seriousness of the matter to him because I wasn't even clear on it, nor did I really know what it was, I was so confused and had that tendency to not want to be a burden. ..let's just say, it didn't help me much.

My friends on the island were the ones who saved me: it took several days to find a "patch" for this problem (not a root solution) because there was no medication as required, there was no one to give it to me; I just wanted to be well... but I only felt moderately well.

So, as soon as I had some energy: I bought the ticket to CDMX and asked for help!!

I was looking at options that my resources could afford: unfortunately I found pure mata-sano... one even hurt me when checking and I denied the existence of something serious, he said that I looked bright, that I was strong to resist surgery: I wanted to operate immediately -even with his conclusion that there was nothing serious- removing the entire womb "because it is only useful for having children"... My mother and I ran away from that butcher.

Desperate, I went to my doctor and finally decided to ask for help to complete surgery with her: there was a 17 cm tumor in the left ovary and another uterine intramural myoma.

When he saw me he immediately detected the anemia and that same day he gave me a lift, between iron, intravenous vitamins, he told me that I had to be strong to withstand the surgery: What a difference!!

After two weeks of strengthening the body with moderate exercise, nutrition:

I was more than ready for surgery!

The internist who saw the preoperative studies mentioned that I was super healthy, gave me risk level 1 and said that he didn't give me 0 because it can't be done.

I happily believed that after surgery, I would return to my beautiful home on the island.

A week later, I went to have the stitches removed when they told me that the pathology showed that this tumor was malignant with very aggressive cancer cells, so I had to go see an oncologist.

Something that none of the doctors, nor my mother, nor I, expected.

I see the first oncologist, an individual who is very good, however he is also guided by strict protocols, so he tells me that it is urgent to open me, that due to my resources, it will have to be a more aggressive surgery than the one I am still healing and that later he would continue with chemotherapy -yes or yes-

Everything felt like stabs in the internal wounds, a shock, a resistance, I know that the doctor tried to say it in the most empathetic way possible, but how can we achieve empathy with such news and such ways of proceeding with medicine, with rigid protocols?

Wow, I have nothing against the doctor, nor the medicine, surely that has saved lives... but it didn't sound very nice to me to have another larger internal injury and expect my body to resist chemotherapy treatments!

After the shock, I investigated more options and now I am being treated with a younger doctor, who works with a group of experts to see and analyze each case in particular.

He mentioned that surgery may be probable, but that at the moment it was not the best since chemotherapies must be done due to the type of cancer, so another surgery can be very aggressive for the body to recover from the treatment and that it is preferable. wait for it to finish healing so that they can do a study that will be able to determine if there is cancer in another part of the body, if it is necessary to operate or if you can go directly to the chemotherapies and know how many will be necessary for my specific case.

I mean, I know there is cancer, I don't know if surgery will follow or not and I can't believe what I feel: but, if the study shows that it is directly chemo, that news is what excites me! hahaha... yes! Because the fact that it is the chemo directly (whatever it is, that's fine) means that I would no longer have to go through another surgery with all that that implies. But, well: also if it has to be done, then it has to be done!

.. Now, I think you can understand how emotionally complicated it can be to wait for this study...

And well, this has been the path that brought me here.

I know that many of us hear about cancer, chemo and it is horror after horror... yes! That was especially the first few days for me.

Now I have a different process:

There are ups and downs, but my day no longer revolves entirely around the tumor, the cancer, and what comes next. Of course, it is a topic that does take up a lot of thought, conversations, etc. But, I am continually doing the things that I can do today. .. I have not stopped teaching, I write, read, dance, walk, sing, socialize, I am creating projects that help me turn this around so that it is not all gray or dark, because there are ways to continue with reality as it is and do not forget the main thing:

Today, I am alive...

And as long as you are alive, you can be grateful despite any chaos.

It all depends on me

And also:

I'm not alone!

I have my wonderful support network with me who have been key to motivating, giving strength and shaking me not only in difficult moments: they have been with me in all kinds of life moments.

Thank you!!

Vane Isunza