The moment has arrived...

My birthday was a very varied day of news, emotions, changes in information, lots of love, celebration… another day full of variety and now with the news of what is coming.

Do you know how I started the morning??

My celebration began in a very personal way: I managed to get up early to do my pilates practice, where I got a super gift from my body,

I was able to do a complete dorsal flexion… well two, with the help of the counterweight of the ball without any compensation: one hundred percent abdomen!! Wohooooo…

Finally after weeks of insisting!!

I even shed tears of emotion, because it is what I wanted to achieve before the next surgery: thank you! Thank you!

And then, I started teaching at home, and then on the way to the hospital I could continue: seeing my students, being able to guide them, seeing their progress, their willingness to be there, their dedication, perceiving their energy, is one of my best gifts in life, if it exists… I love my students, I love my job and what it offers in life.

When I finished, I noticed that the traffic was terrible: a second floor, like a parking lot… and downstairs they were moving calmly!!

I decided not to get caught up in the worry and focus on enjoying my super nice driver (Mario) and his creativity of innovative products for those moments of heavy traffic in the city… hahahahaha

I arrived late to my appointment and had to wait a little more than an hour for them to receive me… no problem.

I went and this time my doc had a different attitude than I was used to seeing him -obviously the time I saw him, it was private- and now, he has a role, protocols and times to follow, so he focused on giving me information:

The date for me to be admitted to the hospital is this Sunday the 18th, they will operate on me on Tuesday the 20th, I must see a neurologist because the institution does not take anything for granted, no risk and they prefer to review how the procedure I received for the aneurysm is now, which I applaud.

On the other hand, I had an idea that the surgery would be laparoscopic, but now the doctor told me that since the cell they found is very small and the location is in the ovary, since it has free access to several organs, so if he sees that it is necessary, it will be a surgery where they will open several layers from the mouth of the stomach to the pubis… well, he will proceed with it… meaning, maybe it will be laparoscopic, maybe not…

My body hurt thinking about it… and I was in shock when he asked me about doubts… wow…

It is not easy to have an expectation of a start where the invasion is minimal, the rehabilitation is fast and then there is the possibility that they change the game days before surgery… for me, at least it is not easy because I know what it means for my spine, which is already with sequelae and thanks to the abdomen, it saved me from many pains that could occur more often

… and when they cut muscle fibers, I know the consequences well… I have studied about it: it is not just anything…

Afterwards I went to the social worker and I did not understand why at the beginning they told me that everything The treatment would be covered, if later on this occasion they tell me that I have to go to a department to see if they authorize or not that this surgery is covered… wow! Whether it is a lot or a little, I was not prepared at all and I only have a few days to figure it out, although my boyfriend is already coming out to stop me from worrying, the truth is that it is not cool that they tell me one thing and then in the end they change the game when I only have a few days to figure it out… that was not the idea…

I am thinking of asking this, because I do not know if because I went with another social worker, she decided to change something or if this is actually the protocol of the institution.

There will be those who think: but if Mario is already supporting you, why do you worry anymore?… and yes, I understand. But that's not me... it's not that I'm just worried, that I just let go and nothing happens: for me, I went in to be able to resolve it on my own and if they told me one thing, it's important not to have more surprises: because it's important to know for sure what the hospital's real way of managing is in order to have clear information...

I don't think it's right to be told one thing and then a few days later my family, friends, partner and I are left trying to resolve it at the last minute... I want to be clear about everything and that's important!!... there are expenses in my life, beyond this.

Anyway!

It was a day where I felt I was on solid ground and rather, I suddenly fell to the ground on a day where, like it or not, I'm sensitive, because it's right on my birthday: I wanted to sing the morning songs, celebrate... not to be dealing with the possibilities of another surgery, of paying an amount I wasn't prepared for...

And yes, at the time I was so out of it that I didn't know how to act: it happens.

Fortunately, everything always has a way of being addressed, even if it's after.

I arrived home extremely tired... Mario came to Mexico City to accompany me to my birthday, which surpassed the super nice detail because he is here with the best disposition to enjoy us being together, bringing out his best version all the time, with so many details in his way of being that, in reality, he has been one of the best gifts... it is more than a super detail, he is a very sweet man who shows me his essence without fear, so: it is a great privilege to be with him... thank you that we are together! (By the way, on the 11th we celebrated our first birthday... long live true love!!)

Thanks to him, I had a birthday celebration with my parents: we went to eat/have dinner at a place that I had fond memories of for delicious meats, a terrace (which is no longer in service) and although the beginning was a bit rushed (ugly, loud music, bad attitude of the waiters), little by little it changed into enjoyment: the music improved, they turned it down and we were able to talk... The meat, that was as delicious as I remembered as well as the chocolate cake with dulce de leche... mmm!!

They made me Tatiana's morning songs (for this, I would have preferred the ones with cepillen!! Hahaha) And my parents, Mario, me: we were very happy to be together being able to celebrate life, which in this case was mine.

That's right, we returned with the beautiful traffic that a rainy Wednesday night could offer us.

It took me a couple of days to digest all the news, process it, and thanks to my therapist that I saw today, find out why I was kind of stuck in a strange feeling and yes, it's simply because the information changed and obviously in situations like this, it's necessary to have everything as clear and stable as possible.

So, today I'm left with the idea of ​​getting busy to clarify the situation at the institute, talk to my doctor and do what I have to do to go into the operating room confident, responsible with what I have to do, calm.

Tomorrow I wanted to have a meeting at least with my uncles, cousins, friends who wanted to celebrate my birthday, but I don't have the head for this and I'll rather be looking for the l